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Breaking news: Anthony Davis and DeMarcus Cousins not getting traded from New Orleans Pelicans

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Y’all just crazy to say otherwise.

NBA: Chicago Bulls at New Orleans Pelicans Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

If necessary, consider this your much needed cold shower.

Anthony Davis and DeMarcus Cousins will still be wearing New Orleans Pelicans jerseys after the NBA Trade Deadline passes on February 8, 2018.

Seriously, it’s well past time to accept the reality of the situation.

To be honest, though, the trade chatter regarding either All-NBA big man never made sense at any time over the summer nor at any point so far this season. The Pelicans witnessed Boogie and The Brow play together in just 17 games during the 2016-17 campaign. Practices were a rarity over that span and the locker room was ill-equipped to handle the necessary seamless transition to make it work immediately with arguably the two best big men in the game.

This season, New Orleans has never dipped more than two games below .500 in the standings, and the team has stayed at or above that line since a win over the Orlando Magic more than a month ago. Moreover, the Pelicans are currently a season-best four games stronger in the win column, and they are positioning themselves nicely to avoid a matchup with either the Warriors or Rockets in the first round of the 2018 playoffs.

Oh, and then there’s this gem from last night’s win over the Chicago Bulls.

In case you’re part of the NBA majority who doesn’t consistently tune into Pelicans games, this pair of 2018 All-Star starters have been having a lot of fun at the office while winning at a higher clip than they’re previously accustomed to enjoying on a professional level.

And if you don’t believe me, just ask AD how he feels about his teammate who posted a 44-point, 24-rebound and 10-assist effort less than 24 hours ago — something that hasn’t been done in over 35 years!

Did you know that the Pelicans have a 17-8 record when Davis tallies 25 or more points? And when someone has needed to step up in AD’s absence, Cousins has had his back by averaging 31.8 points, 14.3 rebounds, 4.7 assists, 2.8 threes, 1.2 steals and 1.8 blocks? In all three games this season where Cousins scored 40 or more points, Davis either missed the contest or fouled out and the Pelicans walked away the winners!

Multiple stud alert!!!

The New Orleans Pelicans are far from a perfect team, but they’re ahead of the curve by wielding two of the the greatest assets in the game. Davis and Cousins are true game-changers who can singlehandedly decide the outcome of any matchup, so there’s no way in hell those in charge are going to give that up after the current administration bet the good times would continue after the last postseason berth. Especially not now with New Orleans continuing to surge up the standings while discourse can be heard elsewhere across the league!

There’s no Jason Kidd to fire around here because Head Coach Alvin Gentry doesn’t step on toes. There’s no Kevin Love incident that needs resolving because the locker room gets along swimmingly well. And no one has heard reports of either New Orleans star knocking on the door of General Manager Dell Demps to discuss the organization’s direction like Damian Lillard did last week with the Trail Blazers.

So, it’s high time for all the NBA trade machine ridiculousness to stop. Please don’t listen to Tracy McGrady or any other yutz advocating the Pelicans should or will break apart New Orleans winning tandem. Anthony Davis and DeMarcus Cousins are staying home — even if LeBron James is publicly staring in awe.