Let’s say you’re an NBA team on the road and you go into the fourth quarter leading the home team by three. The home team, by the way, is the hottest in the league and entered the night riding a 16-game home winning streak.
What do you do?
Most teams would say we’re going to take that lead and go for the jugular. We’re going to attack, keep the home crowd at bay and be the team that ends the opponent’s win streak.
The Pelicans, however, are not most teams.
New Orleans is a bad team... with a bad coach... and underperforming players playing in a bad offense... that was devised by said coaching staff. Needless to say, the Pelicans put on a clinic of bad basketball in the fourth quarter tonight in the nation’s Capitol.
The Pelicans entered the fourth quarter leading the Wizards (who are not a bad team by any stretch of the imagination — in fact they were playing like one of the very best teams in the league) by a margin of 83-80. Then the law of averages caught up with the team and it hit them over the head with a chair like it was a WWE match.
The Pelicans scored eight points in the fourth quarter. No, that’s not a typo: E-I-G-H-T.
How many points did the Pelicans score in the fourth quarter tonight? Eight! Ah ha ha pic.twitter.com/rL5yCh4xY5— The Bird Writes (@thebirdwrites) February 5, 2017
I mean look, I could give you a 2,000 word breakdown about all the fine intricacies that played a hand in the Pelicans losing to the Wizards, accompanied by play-by-play breakdowns that would make Jon Gruden’s wet dream come true. Or, I could say “the Pelicans scored eight points in the fourth quarter”, and you all would be like “yeah, I see where the Pelicans went wrong, thanks, Zach.”
The Pelicans shot 3-21 in the fourth quarter, which checks in at 14 percent.
Do I need to say that’s bad? Because in case you’re wondering, yes that is all kinds of bad. Three made baskets, eight points scored. That’s what the Pelicans combined to do tonight.
Was that really the Pelicans out there in the fourth quarter or five guys from the local YMCA? It was hard to tell. Professional basketball players don’t combine to score eight points in an entire quarter. Pudgy guys that drive rusted-out Honda Civics do.
Over the last 5:50 of the game, the Pelicans scored as many points as I did. Which is to say “none.” Blow this team up? Yeah, blow it up, set the ashes on fire, cryogenically freeze the remains for 75 years (for science) and then blend up what’s left and mix it into a smoothie of basketball ineptitude.
Coming into tonight the Pelicans were one of four teams with less than a one percent chance of making the playoffs according to most. After tonight, where I remind you this alleged professional basketball team scored eight points in a quarter, it’s probably time to pull the plug.
- As usual, Anthony Davis had his good stats. He posted 25 and 10 with 2 blocks, but it never felt like it mattered. We can save this discussion for another time because it never felt like Davis was the alpha male on the court tonight. That honor belongs to...
- John Wall. The 2017 All-Star had 24 points, 13 assists and 5 steals. I wrote in the preview that Wall’s enjoying his best season as a professional and tonight was another instance. And my God is he fast. Wall was an absolute blur leading the break for the Wizards.
- What’s most frustrating about that Pelican fourth quarter is that the team was shooting the ball very well before that quarter. New Orleans was shooting 59 percent from the floor going into the fourth and it went sour just like that. Shooting 44 percent from the floor for the night sounds good until you really look beyond the statsheet. Stay woke, y’all.
- If you thought the Pelican shooting in the fourth quarter was bad, check this out: New Orleans shot 29 percent from three and was barely making half of their free throws.
- Jrue Holiday, Tyreke Evans and Buddy Hield combined to shoot 14-43 tonight. I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.
- The Fox Sports New Orleans broadcast had a good stat: tonight was the 19th game for Washington where all five of their starters (Wall, Bradley Beal, Otto Porter, Marcin Gortat and Markieff Morris) scored in double figures. That’s the most in the league. Know how many the Pelicans have? Zero.