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Pelicans surprise Knicks because Jrue Holiday will bleed from the eyes to win a ball game

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He did however fail his tank driving lesson.

Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

Jrue Holiday is not only capable of going from 0 to 100 -- perhaps even real quick -- in transition, but we also found out last night that he is capable of having 200 miles on the dash.

Boy did I laugh and laugh when that pristine little nugget was shown on the Pelicans' broadcast. Holiday shows that he is just like the rest of us normal folk when it comes to bumping to Future beats. Bob your head; shake your arms; mumble your way through the verse before emphatically punctuating the ending to bring the house down in your 2007 Honda Accord. That ought to put the "madness" in March Madness.

When Holiday wasn't staking his claim to be the next hot MC, he was dropping some heat on the New York Knicks defense, en route to 22 points, 6 rebounds and 6 assists. This sort of thing has become commonplace for those of us that have watched Holiday this season, yet it is a rarity to hear his name mentioned amongst the league's upper echelon of guards.

Ideally, that narrative (along with his shady injury history) will be a boon for the Pelicans going forward, as the price of his next contract may not approach the value that it should. With Anthony Davis as the centerpiece, having a ball handler/creator/crunch-time scorer of Holiday's caliber is a unique luxury. Not many point guards are capable of making late-game magic such as this:

Arron Afflalo is one of the more physical guards in the league, but Holiday had the fortitude to ice the game with a saucy fader. Get well, Jrue. (Someone shut him down please!)

As for the rest of the game, there is only so much excitement to be had when the Knicks come to down. Ranking a sluggish 27th in pace, New York relegates most of their offensive possessions to running the ground-breaking outdated triangle offense in hopes of striking gold through various cuts and screens:

Sure, there were times when gold was found -- as shown above, a broken clock is right twice a day -- but scoring a measly 91 points with a pretty healthy roster against this decimated Pelicans roster sporting the immaculate starting front court of Omer Asik and Alexis Ajinca is a travesty.

The early game mood as both a viewer and from the broadcast booth had the makings of a Knicks victory. It was difficult to forecast a Pelicans victory when Sir Kristaps started the game firing holy jumpers with hands of oozing lava while also stunting some fancy footwork against a bewildered Ajinca:

If only the Knicks weren't so fixated on their geometry fetish and let Sir Kristaps roam free on the hardwood like any right-minded organization would.

In other news, there is a search warrant out for Asik's hands as they appear to have gone missing:

Dammit, someone must have forgotten to remind Jrue that you can only go 0 to 43 when passing the ball to Asik.

Despite earning the start, Asik played so miserably that he only managed to earn seven minutes of playing time against one of the few teams in the league that play with a gargantuan front court. In his place, the human boulder (Kendrick Perkins), squeezed his way into the rotation for an inspired 21 minutes, earning a plus/minus rating of +15 on the night.

With the San Antonio Spurs on deck, the extent of Holiday's eye injury will be the focus over the next 24 hours. Given its appearances while watching it live, one would have to assume that he is going to be out for the remainder of the season (not the worst thing in the world).

Don't worry, I will take it upon myself to spark up some Future to lift his spirits.

*Bobs head*

*Wiggles arms*

"Blah, blah, blah, blah ... GOT 200 MILES ON THE DASH!"