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Predicting Anthony Davis performance in the Taco Bell Skills Challenge

Here is my expert analysis on how the Unibrow will perform against Boogie Cousins on Saturday night!

The New Orleans Pelicans Anthony Davis is surprisingly one of the first big men to be invited to the Taco Bell Skills Challenge. But how will he perform? (Hint, I'm not very optimistic about his chances. Anthony Davis' doesn't really even like to get his fast food from Taco Bell. Everyone knows that AD's favorite fast food place is In & Out Burger.)

If it was the Domino's Pizza Skill Challenge, I would be much more optimistic about his chances. Being from the Windy City, Anthony Davis loves pizza and is known to have tremendous pizza skillz. Deep dish from Midway or just a paper thin slice from Dominica, Davis has been known to be the Ninja Turtle of the pizza pies. Per a report by Marc J. Spears:

He eats pizza, man. It's like if anyone says, 'P ... I' and then, 'Pizza,' he perks up," Hornets coach Monty Williams said. "This dude has this fascination with pizza. It's unreal.

Unfortunately, the "Mexican Pizza" is a completely different animal. Do we even know if AD has any Taco skillz? I have scoured the internet (seriously, I did a ton of research on Anthony Davis in food related circumstances for the article) and never came across a situation where AD admitted to eating tacos.

Query: Does AD even know what a Quesalupa is?

via GIPHY

All of this talk about AD's lack of natural Taco Bell skillz largely ignores the more relevant problem for AD: Boogie (BLEEPING) Cousins. If anyone has supreme burrito skillz, it's Boogie. The Boogmeister is probably the hardest draw of the first round. Just look at the guy, is there any doubt he spends a lot of his time getting his Chalupa on?

DeMarcus Cousins is a considerable Taco foe. He possesses more size, and thus, is likely to be more well versed in the tex-mex cuisine that is synonymous with Taco Bell. Moreover D'Marcus has the eye of the Chihuahua in him.

What: Taco Bell Skills Challenge

When: Feb. 13, All-Star Saturday Night, @ 8:30 p.m. ET

(This joke is mused off a joke originated by Ryan Nanni. You can blame him for all the bad Dad jokes I have made. If you have an opinion about something I wrote, be sure to leave it in the comments below. For more brilliance, you can follow me on twitter @jdbillio.)