We’re back, y’all! Year three! Can you believe it’s been this long?
First of all welcome back, NBA, you beautiful SOB. Damn I missed you! Football makes me feel uncomfortable and baseball still isn’t quite doing it for me. Or maybe it is? I think I’m a Cubs fan now after seeing a game at Wrigley in September. Fly the W...or, something.
But enough with those guys, basketball’s back and that means we’ve got just enough time to gamble away our 401(k)s. Should any of you listen to me and my gambling advice? Hell no! Look at these bets I got wrong one year ago and laugh at my foolishness.
- Anthony Davis PER 29.5: I took the over and Davis finished with a 25.0. It was a stupid bet but excuse me for thinking our uber talented superstar could repeat his 2014-15 season — yeah I’m pretty sure I was the only one who thought that.
- Playoff Seeding 7.5: Okay taking the over on this one looks bad too but come on. I, and I know I wasn’t alone, really thought this team would take the next step last season.
- Southwest Division Finish 3.5: Ugh. Once again I thought the Pelicans would be worth a damn last year and make something of themselves but sorry for not accounting for every player of consequence being injured.
I guess the lesson here is when it comes to gambling always assume the worst and take the under. Actually I think the real lesson here is don’t gamble, but how’s that any fun? Anyway here’s some Pelican lines that you should definitely put money on but do the opposite of what I say (I think).
NBA Championship +5000
What are you, nuts? Don’t put anything on this.
Western Conference Championship +5000
Seriously, don’t touch this one too. Interesting note here: five teams (Dallas, Denver, the Lakers, Sacramento and Phoenix) have worse odds to win the West than New Orleans; Houston and Portland are each +5000. So this sort of fits into where we think this team will be at the end of the year right? Somewhere in that 8-10 area.
Southwest Division Championship +5000
Okay, if you actually put money on this, you may need to seek professional help — for God’s sake you’ve got a family to provide for! Also I don’t get why, but Dallas has better odds of winning the division than New Orleans...and yet New Orleans has better odds of winning the West as a whole. I need to talk to my bookie...I mean who has a bookie not me ha...
Anthony Davis MVP +1000
Oh this is appealing. Davis is tied with Kevin Durant, Kawhi Leonard and James Harden for the fourth best odds in the league to win the MVP. You’ve gotta think that Kevin Durant and Steph Curry are going to take MVP votes from each other and LeBron James in year 13 is probably going to coast through the regular season to save himself for the postseason.
So, having Davis at +1000 could be a pretty good value bet, especially if he can drag a Pelican team nobody’s expecting to seriously contend to the playoffs. Russell Westbrook’s the current odds on favorite for MVP for obvious reasons, but I’ve got a sneaky feeling about Kawhi Leonard this year. (Wasn’t he incredible last night against the Warriors?)
Buddy Hield Rookie of the Year +375
Buddy! Second best odds of all rookies behind Kris Dunn. I like this! If I had a gambling problem, I’d be tempted to put something on this. Buddy’s Summer League stint didn’t go so hot, but he started flashing a little something during the preseason. With Eric Gordon’s departure, the door flew wide open for Hield to be the Pelicans’ resident catch-and-shoot three man. I saw Buddy in person when Oklahoma played LSU and Ben Simmons last January and his late second half scoring barrage nuked the Tigers. Believe in Buddy.
I like the Pelicans to hit the over. Maybe not by a drastic amount, but I think they clear it. Yes, Jrue Holiday, Tyreke Evans and Quincy Pondexter, all won’t be there to start the season, but I think New Orleans has added enough quality players who can play well both ways to keep the team somewhat afloat in their absences. I don’t think they’ll be contending for a playoff seed, but I like to think they’ve added enough talent to be feisty all season long.
Anthony Davis All-NBA Team 3.5
This is inspired by AD famously missing out on $24 million last season by failing to make an All-NBA team. So if we’re saying under that means he’ll miss out on an All-NBA team for the second year in a row; over means he’ll make the third, second or first team. You better believe I’m taking the over. I think he’s determined to kick some ass this year.
Over the summer Anthony Davis missed out on $24 million, missed the Olympics because of his shoulder surgery, listened to how Karl Anthony-Towns is now the league’s next best big-man, and he heard how his team’s a bust, how he’s fragile and can’t stay healthy, and won’t ever fully dominate the league like we all think he can. The Brow’s pissed off and, more importantly, finally healthy. I’d get out of his way.