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Anthony Davis: Is He Alien?

Is Anthony Davis an Alien? The Bird Writes Investigates the Truthiness of these claims.

By Joseph Billiot
AD - Space Warrior
AD - Space Warrior
By Russ Bengtson via Twitter @ Tri_Offense

Through the first week of NBA games, Anthony Davis averaged 24 points, 13 boards, and 4 blocks per a game.  His PER is an unearthly 34. No seriously, Davis has played inhuman through the first week of the season. His stellar play has led some people to accuse AD of being an alien.

In 2012, Andrew Sharp first asked the question in an investigative piece for SB Nation:

Good analysis, but it's also important to consider the possibility that Davis is not of this earth. We've all seen Men In Black. Did you see the way he pulled that rebound out of nowhere? Almost like his arms stretch forever while he just hovers in the air like that? Yeah. Either Davis is an evolved, extraterrestrial life form, or he's part of the same Nike science experiment that brought us LeBron James.

Here, at The Bird Writes, we take these kinds of accusations and hard hitting questions seriously. I asked Anthony Davis for a response.

He chose not to reply. AD’s silence raised my suspicions, so I decided to investigate further. Below, I examine the cold hard facts in order to bring you the truthfulness.

The Facts

Exhibit One: Anthony Davis runs the entire length of the floor and scores a layup. Seriously, watch this play. Tyson Chandler, one of the most agile bigs in the NBA, thinks he has got AD covered. Nope, not a chance. AD out runs Tyson, as well as most of the other guards on the floor and ends up with an easy transition layup. Poor Tyson never had a prayer. How can a man bordering 7 feet tall be that fast? No one knows, especially not Tyson Chandler. (Note: Monty still refuses to push the pace, so he may also be alien).

Exhibit Two: Anthony Davis runs from just below mid-court and blocks a Chandler Parsons three-point shot in the left corner of the floor. Afterwards, Parsons is so stunned that he falls down in disbelief. Meanwhile, AD is busy collecting the spoils of victory. (AKA a rebound.) How… Just how can a mortal person do that? Science has no explanation for this. Neither do the Mavericks.

(via Deadspin - Tweet Below)

Credible Media outlet Deadspin had this to say about AD’s block:

Exhibit Three: AD hits a standing spinning dunk thingy. Afterwards, Davis is seen trying to communicate with some mysterious invisible force. Is this suppose to be Voodoo magic? Who is Davis trying to communicate with? Ghosts? Our future overlords?

Exhibit Four: Anthony Davis uses either telepathy or The Force to steal the ball, fly through the air, and then violently dunk said ball. Is Anthony Davis a Jedi or a Sith Lord? A.D. = E.T. It’s all starting to make sense now….

Exhibit Five: Anthony Davis uses anti-gravity boots to fly over Jason Maxiell. Davis comes from completely off your screen to bamboozle Maxiell, stealing his rebound and slamming it back into the net. Maxiell never even had a chance.

Conclusion

Anthony Davis is an alien. No, he may not be from another planet, (though I’m still not positive) but he is unlike any player in the history of basketball. AD is a near 7- foot tall man-child, who has freakish big arms, a high IQ, pogo sticks for legs, and one incredible unibrow. We will likely never see a player like him again.

For all of the complaining we do as fans, we all have a rare opportunity to watch one of the best NBA players in the league, and maybe someday ever, play night in and night out. Though he may not be from a star, we should all thank our lucky stars that Anthony Davis ended up in New Orleans.

Edited (10/7/2014) - I botched the source on the first photo (I cited the wrong guy). It was pointed out to me, the photo was taken down. The true creator, Russ Bengtson, graciously allowed me to use the original photo, so it is going back up. Big shout to Russ for being so nice about this. Sorry Russ!

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